I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
