if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
