I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
