I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
