I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
