If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
