now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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