Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
