Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
