ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
