My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
