I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
