I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
