I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
