escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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