so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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