Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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