do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
