sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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