is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
