Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
