just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
