Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
