Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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