And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
