dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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