...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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