is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
