I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
