I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
