he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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