I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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