Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
