I hope mine doesn't look like that
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
