What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
