I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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