It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
