Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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