it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
