i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
