My sheets look like a crime scene.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
