We're like a lot better than the average bears
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
