my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
