What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
