she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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