Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
