I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
