Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
