There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
