How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
