Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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