lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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